I was at a lingerie shop recently buying some undergarments. Two women came in, bought some stuff. One of the ladies, asked the other one whether she wanted to buy some panties. The other one replied, 'I don't like to buy from here. These hardly last for six months'. (What she meant was that she'd prefer to buy the cheaper variety in sold loose for around Rs 25 or so). I was shocked. Wasn't that a long time enough for a panty to last? How much do you expect something costing Rs 50-60 approx to last? A lifetime? And even if it cost less or more, undergarments ought to be discarded after six months if you're using them almost daily. Of course, they need to be changed and washed daily too ! Seeing the amused look on my face, the other lady with her clarified that she wore only Jockey brand!

It's rightly said that Cleanliness or hygiene is next to godliness.

Pic courtesy : precious-living.com

Wife's Poem

Nice poem for men who boss around with their wives and always find fault for no rhyme and reason !

Life's Challenging for Women!

One of my female colleagues was so frustrated with the daily long work hours, no time for personal life that she was saying the life was better for women in olden times, when so much was not expected from them. Now people expect her to earn well as well as maintain social and family relations and look after family and home. She thinks of quitting her job and enjoying life also. But she and her sister are the only earning members in a family of three, which includes her Mom. Her father's no more. But even if that weren't the case, she couldn't have left the job because in today's age everyone wants a working wife. And if that weren't enough, they expect her to be a good homemaker who looks after the house, the kids and who's a wonderful cook! How she manages everything is her own lookout!!!

My colleague is right. Mumbai is full of career women. You see everyone putting in the same time and effort (sometimes more) than a man! Your heart goes out to the women who brave their way through a crowded train even through pregnancy, so as to reach office in time! Gone are the days when women were given concession in time at the workplace. And worse are the operations side in private banks and some MNCs. The Ladies Compartment is sufficiently occupied even after 10 pm!

Working in the operations side of banking, I have to think twice before.....

.... picking a personal call

.... having to make an important personal call

.... before going for lunch/ tea ('has someone else from my team gone'? or 'gotta complete this task first' are things that come to your mind... and if that's not all... an official call comes thru!)

.... having to attend social functions ('have to skip this wedding.... leaving early will not be possible'.... banking activities cannot be put forth to the next day, you're dealing with someone else's money after all!)

.... can't keep track of my bill payments - mobile, credit card etc (so I've put all on direct debit and finally automatically linked them to my account... else's I'll have recovery agents running after me only for forgetting to pay!)

But at the end of it, when you reach home, you're still the girl /woman/ wife! Resting or relaxing is not your privilege! You might get a little concession, but mind you, only little! Finally only the men of the house - your husband/ brother etc will have the right to put up their legs and relax. On Sundays, you can't plan to chill out or sleep through the day as coolly as a man can! You will have to think of cleaning, cooking etc. So on a Monday morning, you arrive to work a little more tired than relaxed.... and the circle continues....

Now since I am living with my parents and not yet married, I have some privileges. At least I don't have to bother about household work on week days since I work. Even if I reach home at 10 pm or later, I get home food cooked by Mom. But this week, when she and Dad were not at home (they were at our native place to attend a cousin's wedding), I was wondering who will cook for me if I were to marry and settle down. Who will pamper me like my Mom? We (my sister, me and brother) were managing on noodles, omlette, bread, cornflakes and ordered food. But yesterday, when I reached home quite late, I was too tired to make even instant noodles or an omlette!

Life's not easy for women now! Its more difficult than before. Now you gotta be working, smart in apperance, well-maintained, be a good homemaker, a bread-earner, a good wife, a good mother and be back in shape after motherhood! Society...esp Men's expectations are rising! Men notice even minor things like 'whether you've shaped your eyebrows or not' and they'll be the first to notice that you've had a facial !!!

Best profession for women who want to have a career as well as have a ample time for self and family is Teaching or having your own independent business ! But teacher/ professor is still the best option after all. Who else can enjoy so many leaves in a year, including convenient timings?

Male bashing

Hey why does life treat girls differently, man?
Maybe because we're special. God has made us so!
We don't have great expectations and always ready to make sacrifices;
Maybe that's why we're put through trials in our different relationships as daughters, sisters, lovers and finally wives.
The men want all the attention and maybe thats why the society is so pro-men and most of the norms, laws, and even nature works in their favour.
Poor men, what would they be without all those things working in their favour?!
So girls, let men have all that. We're special in our own ways.
Special when we cry for our loved ones,
Special when we care and be there for our near and dear.
It's always the Mom who keeps awake when her children are ill.
It's the wife who spends sleepless nights when her husband is going through problems
It's the woman who takes a day off from work when there's a problem at home.
It's the woman who has to cook and clean at home even though both partners have equally challenging careers.
But it's always the men who rest on Sundays and holidays.
Why should the men's mistakes and sins always be forgiven when no one gives women another chance?
Men always make a hue and cry over little pains.
But women have to look the house even after painful labour.
Then the child's her responsibility.
The daddy comes into the scene when the child's neat and clean!
After the mother's given the good values, the Dads come to take the credit.

I've known a spinster in her forties through some common friends and always wondered whether she had personal problems due to which she couldn't marry. Never dared to ask her such a personal question, though. But recently, after being 'taken for granted' and being 'expected to sacrifice' for being a woman, I was really depressed and spoke to her right from my heart.

There was nothing special happening in my life too, so I thought I'll share my thoughts with her and what she felt like at the thought of being alone for the rest of her life. I was surprised to get an insight into life for the first time. She told me that not marrying was a decision she took in her teens when young girls used to dream of prince charming and love and blissful life ahead! What she'd seen around her had made her realise that women always have to live upto, and sometimes exceed, expectations of the men in her life. But no matter what, the men will never be satisfied and always find flaws. And some men go to the extent of abusing and ill-treating their women, if they don't comply. Also, in her community, which still follows some age old values, for every festival gifts have to go from the girls maternal home to her in-laws house. And though the girls' family tries their best to send the best, her husband and in-laws will never be satisfied. The girl is then taunted directly and indirectly and finally there comes a time when you start dreading the festivals after marriage. Because you work till you drop during major ocassions but never get appreciated. You have to please everyone and still end up as the cause of their problems and finally lead a dull existence!

This was her perspective and to true some extent in the Indian society I asked her if she regretted her decision. 'No' was her prompt reply. Cause every woman -friend and relative she'd known had lost their own identities and stopped being themselves after marriage. And most of them were not-so-happy with their marriages.

And moreso, she said, she'd not come across any man in her life after meeting whom she could look back and say that if so-and-so would have been there, her life would be special. So, she still enjoys all the festivals in the true 'girl spirit'. And though all her sisters are married, she still chooses to be single and meet people and know different cultures. Her only regret is that she cannot fully enjoy life that way she wants to (the main reason for being unmarried) because she works with her brother in a family business and has to travel from one end of the city to the other daily leaving her very little time for herself. But thats the problem with everyone in the city, though.

Today, as I was walking down the street, I heard a middle aged woman speak to another woman with her, 'Kya karti bechari? Aurat toh mard ke saamne hamesha majboor ho jaati hai'! I don't want to be majboor. I want a man who will be honest with me and true care for me throughout life. I am not even asking for love because 'Love' is too high a word in today's age and too much to expect from men!

Till then I'll enjoy my 'girldom' !

(My heart's feeling a little lighter after all this male bashing! :-) )

A vow taken at a friends wedding!

Attended a friend's wedding today evening. Could make it on time since it was a holiday on account of Diwali. It was my sister's and my common friend, so she'd come along too!

It was a fun meeting so many friends after so long. Meeting up, catching up on old times. Welcoming the bride n groom, the wedding march, the song and music selection as well as the host was good.

The theme of the wedding was 'white and lavender' and cooindentally I was dressed in a shade close to lavender. It was an evening to remember, moreso because a close group friend was getting married and it brought our whole group together after ages! The group (formed for creative reasons many years ago!) which had got lost in work, work and more work.

It also brought together some single working friends like me together. And set us thinking whether wedding was ever destined for us! We also wondered at whose wedding we'll all meet next.

We finally left with good memories and dreams in our eyes, with a vow to only marry someone who will really touch our hearts deeply and not just marry for the sake of others or just because we have to!

hUSBAND dREAMS ! ;)

Most of us have read the poem 'Aisi Apni Wife Ho!'

Hey, we girls also have our expectations, which is presented well in the below mail which I received from a friend :

Aisa apna husband ho

Aisa apna husband ho

6' - 6'2" jiski height ho

Jeans dheeli magar body tight ho

apni baaton se karta excite ho

Wo dashing smart aur polite ho

Husband apna aisa bright ho.

Uski apni ek website ho

Network uska world-wide ho

Swiss bank mein account 26 - 27 ho

Jab shopping kar ke aoon,

bole begum tum kitni nice ho

Husband apna aisa bright ho

Uff tak na kare, itna quiet ho

Jalaa khana khakar bhi,

usey mujhpe pride ho

Mere har nakhre uthaye,

itna mizaaj uska light ho

Apne friends ke saamne kahe,

tum perfect bride ho

Husband apna aisa bright ho.

Dinner banaye wo,

jab bhi romantic night ho

Hamesha wo haar maan jaye,

jab bhi koi fight ho

Saas sasur ke samne kahe,

jaan tum hamesha right ho

Mujhe rani bana kar rakhe,

to phir zindagi delight ho

Husband apna aisa bright ho.

Bindaas apni mann ki karoon,

kuch is tarah ki life ho

Har doosre week ghoomne phirne ki flight ho

Aisa ho jaye to main udoon aasmaan mei,

jaise ke koi kite ho

Husband apna aisa bright ho!

Kaash yeh concept .001 percent bhi right ho,

Agar Aisa apna Husband ho,

to kya haseen life ho.

Whether its Hot or Not- Give Cleanliness a thought !

Its pretty hot these days. And hot weather in humid climate leads to lots of sweat. Perspiration leads to a sticky body attracting dirt and grime. Sweat itself leaves an odour when it dries up.

So one has to be careful how one smells and to herself and to others! Apart from smelling good, internal hygiene is also important (whether in summer or winter or any season for that matter!)

A female is an entire package. It doesn't only matter how you dress up externally. What is important is how attractive you are as a package deal. Women are required to be beautiful. That is the basic nature of a female. Beautiful as a person. Soft spoken and kind hearted. Like they say- Sugar and spice and all that's nice. And nice includes being clean and sweet smelling and pleasant to the eyes as well.

CLOTHES

Everyone wants to wear light cotton clothes in summer. Its a good idea! But stick to light coloured cotton clothes unless are going for a special occasion and need to wear synthetic clothes.

Night Gown fixation for home wear (avoid, yaar!)

At home many females prefer to don cotton nighties (night gown) because they are hassle free and save you from the summer and kitchen heat. My personal preference is to avoid wearing night gowns even if u're at home. Wear it at night and stretch it till you've had breakfast at the most. Then bathe and change into something refreshing. Like a cotton salwar suit. Or cotton trousers and T shirt.

But if you still feel that a gown is more comfy for you, then choose a good one, for your family's (mainly, husband's sake). Many Indian women look at nighties like an engineer's blue body- jacket, in which they can work and also wipe their dirty hands on. Hence, choose the darkest and dirtiest colours much to the disappointment of their spouses. I've been to lingerie shops and seen some women opting for dirty coloured cotton gowns most probably thinking its a nice thing to work in the kitchen in. All this while their men were hoping they'd select something 'stylish or sexy'. So please try to keep night gowns a night affair and go for an apron to wear over your clothes in the kitchen. Or choose pretty cotton gowns in stylish designs and cute colours making you look and feel like a woman and very feminine. Go for ones with laces and flowers and dors (tying threads). Don't wear dirty coloured night gowns driving your own family and spouse away from you.

Be elegant even at Home

Dressing at home does not mean that you can wear some old salwar of one dress and a khameez of another and dupatta of some other! Yuck! Be dignified and look smart whether in home or office. Whether working in kitchen or on the computer. Elegance is very important. And men like it. Be well dressed at all times. Wear the right matching clothes. Stitch clothes especially for home wear, if you have to, instead of wearing clothes which have either been worn or torn out.

This also serves a dual purpose. You don't have to run here and there searching for decent clothes if someone knocks at your door!

BATHING/ WASHING

Don't avoid bathing, especially in Summer. If you've had a bath in the morning and been out in the sun and feel sweaty and dirty again, have a mini bath again. Or at least wash your entire hands, legs, face with soap. And wipe your armpits with water and clean them. And go for change of clothing.

Also take care of your head. Everytime you bathe, bathe your head too! Many women feel that bathing again and again over your hair will spoil it. It's not so. Indian climate requires it. Else your head starts to smell odd. And remember, you will be travelling by a local train and someone might be standing close behind you. Keeping your head clean also keeps away the lice! Those whose heads are always cleaned and washed, have lice-free hair. Even if by chance, you happen to get some through others, they won't survive in clean hair and scalp!

And like you bathe yourself, bathe your clothes (I mean, wash 'em) too! And please please please do not re-wear once worn clothes again. Our weather and climate do not support it. Many have the habit of wearing something for a whole day at office, then keeping it away for another wear or more before they wash it! Result - smelly armpits and clothes! And people want to run away from you! No amount of perfume or talc can help! If you've worn it for an hour or two and want to wear it for another short wear, its different. But then ensure that after the first wear, the clothes are kept to dry in the sun. Such kind of hygiene will save you from a lot of skin diseases too! Of course, clothes like jeans and codroys, long flowing skirts can be worn for a few wears before wash because while jeans and codroys are of thick absorbing material, long flowing skirts do not directly touch your body.

AFTER A BATH

After a bath, you feel fresh and your skin breathes. Thats the time the dirt over your cells have been cleared and your skin feels good too. Its the time when your skin easily absorbs the body lotions and creams you treat it to.

Use an after shower spray if you can. Spray on your underarms. Then lightly all over you. They make you feel and smell good. Let it dry. If you have the time, use a body lotion on your hands, legs and breasts. And then dabble sweet and mild fragrant talc over you to soak up the oily cream/ lotion.

Avoid deos directly on your body. Though they are meant for your body, they harm your skin in the long run. If you have to use one, go for a reputed brand. We generally tend to buy them coz they're cheap. Yes, they are. For your skin. They can darken your underarms too. Also stay away from deo sticks. Even skin specialists will not recommend them. Excessive usage of deo sticks can lead to lumps or tumors too.

So stick to good shower sprays, if you can afford them. Else use good smelling talcum powder. Best is Johnson Baby powder. Of all the Indian brands I've researched, I haven't come across a really good smelling talc. Even the foreign brands launched in India don't smell as good as their counterparts in other countries. You can check the difference by buying the same talc, same fragrance, same brand- one imported and one their launch for the Indian market. So, baby powders are a safe bet. I knew of the brands Cuticura and Emami of my schooldays. I liked their fragrance, but hardly see them now.

After you don your clothes and intend to step out, then apply a good perfume. Here again don't wear too strong perfumes, scaring others away from you.

UNDERGARMENTS

Undergarments are as important as your clothes. Keep many in stock. And choose good and pleasant designs and colours. Don't try to save money by avoiding buying panties and bras. We don't think twice before blowing money in eating junk and paying lots of money in multiplexes and even paying double for food there. But generally keep only two or three pairs of panties. Don't be a 'kanjoos' where hygiene is concerned. Keep several panties and don't forget to change everyday. And with every bath. If required, you can change 'em twice even, you've been in sweaty weather.

Also do not forget to throw them away at the right time. Do a scrutiny of your underclothes every 2-3 months and throw away stuff which is worn out. Don't wait for too much wear and tear. Else, you might attract skin rashes and diseases.

Remember- Cleanliness is next to Godliness and all religions also preach 'purity'.

Be clean and smell sweet. In summer and all through the year.

Pics courtesy:

http://www.bambooclothes.com

http://www.thesewingplace.com
http://www.worth1000.com